July 27, 2004
Ahem...
Announcing:
The title of "DC's Biggest Prick" has passed to a newcomer.
My company is promoting me and relocating me to DC; I arrive on Tuesday (TOMORROW) and stay in a hotel until the end of the month. I don't know a soul, need to find an apartment, and need LOTS of help getting situated (unpacking, shopping, meeting people, getting to know DC, etc.), working from 8am-8pm all the while! I'm being given a very generous $5000 relocation allowance for miscellaneous expenses (in addition to having all my hotels/airfare/moving service paid for).I'm only 24, I don't have a wife and kids, so it's not like I have that many
other miscellaneous expenses... SO, I am willing to pay most of this $5000 (or
all, depending on how much you'd be willing to do) to a fun assistant who
doesn't have many commitments to help me find the ideal apartment, unpack myboxes and organize my closet while I'm at work and show me aound in the
evenings. Perhaps you could also introduce me to all your single girlfriends (maybe you're a sorority girl?), help me figure out what bars/clubs I like, etc.? Basically, I want my transition to be totally seamless... even less hassles than going on a vacation, and maybe even more fun than going on vacation!?
And there's more. Go back to Cambridge, scum.
Posted by rj3 at July 27, 2004 3:52 PM
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Comments
I dunno...the title may be contested by METRO...
Posted by: Michael at July 29, 2004 12:08 PM