March 18, 2005
Morons to the north, morons to the south
While Virginia may be racing to the Dark Ages faster than a speeding pestilence outbreak, our other neighbors are also working hard to make sure the state's elected officials are busy handling legislation that can best be described as "vindictive" as opposed to "necessary to the continued functioning of government" or "a step toward increased economic development" or "doing something about the fact that most of Baltimore is an ungodly dump."
They want to make English the state language.
As a former Maryland resident, I know why. No, it's not because of all those immigrants, so lazy and unmotivated that they're outscoring your kids on standardized tests and filling Montgomery County's strip malls with delicious but unassimilationist pho, dim sum and curry joints. It's because there are plenty of native-born Marylanders can't speak or understand English. Go to the MVA and try to transfer the title of a car. You'll encounter something like this:
You: I'd like to transfer the title of this car. Do I have enough documentation?
MVA employee: Take tik't.
You: I don't want to get on a long line if I'm missing something. Might you be able to direct me to some sort of pamphlet?
MVA employee: Vlavalater.
You: Excuse me?
MVA employee: Nwerf shibvabn tankt passport flavuut dranj dental dam.
You: Oh, forget it. I'll just walk from now on.
So this isn't about immigrants at all -- it's about integrating Marylanders, most notably Baltimoreans, into the language and culture of the rest of the nation. I think. Anyway, it'll destroy the local culture, heralded in classic TV shows such as The Wire and America's Funniest Urban Rednecks Try Meth.
Bonus stupidity: The Moonie Times article linked above cites Wikipedia. How lazy can you be and still show up to work every day?
Posted by rj3 at March 18, 2005 11:47 AM
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Comments
It sounds like they are wasting their time in Bmore.
Like when the city motto was "Baltmore- the city that reads" the only thing that happened was that bookstores couldn't keep enough copys of "Steal This Book".
What will happen if the Baltimorons learn English and then realize that "hey hun" is not a proper greeting unless they are talking to an Asiatic nomad.
Posted by: Av at March 21, 2005 11:18 AM
Applecore, Baltimore, Who's Your Friend - D.C. SOB!
Posted by: JT at March 23, 2005 9:58 PM