At anything more than walking speed bikes balance themselves. Centripetal forces and whatnot. As long as nothing happens to throw you off course that sucker will just keep going.
You can of course honk at anything you choose but that commute will take a lot longer with a krypto'd windshield.

-W(is very careful about using the little ear piece thingy while pedaling)DC

Luckily, I have no such liberal guilt to assuage.

Bicycles are best left to muscular gentlemen in tight pants and small children. We have buses, taxis, and the Metrorail in this town. If your living allowances don't account for any of the three, get another job.

Any longhaired soulpatch blocking traffic on a ten-speed trike deserves to be knocked off the street, DeathRace 2000-style. Extra points for tatoos.

I know this is a common excuse for drivers, but there are lots of places it's just faster to bike than to bus/metro/taxi.

Perhaps, but it's so undignified - Ass in the air, knees akimbo, arriving sweaty to wherever you're going. Plus, what, do you *want* to be at work? Take the bus and read a book.

Ick. The Bus? Better to arrive with a healthy sweat than saturated in someone else's BO.
Plus, there's no roaches in my bike.
-WDC

There's no 5-mph bumpers, either, but that didn't seem to worry the patchouli-wearing freakshow who cut me off on K Street this morning.

meh, roadrash is faster than a shower. Besides, better to cut a commuter off than wait for them to put the starbucks down and take the green light.
It's like riding the metro in tourist season: 'stand right or get pushed'
-WDC

We need a CafePress t-shirt with a D.C. flag and "stand right or get pushed" as the caption.

I'll tell you what: I'll put down my starbucks, if you promise that anytime I come across 2 or more cyclists spread across the right-of-way in some kind of suicidal phalanx, that I can them mow down like crabgrass and move on without calling for paramedics.

I'm comfortable with that.
I'd already taken it as a given that commuters don't mind me leaning into their open windows to offer advice.

-WDC

snh, I'm so with you on the t-shirts. Let's do it - I might then refrain from my usual mindless repetition of "Stand to the Right, Walk to the Left! Stand to the Right, Walk to the Left!" all the way down the escalator.

Wait, wait... This could be a historic peace, on the order of Westphalia or Versailles.

On behalf of DC commuters, my initial demands:

1)Unobstructed rights to the righ-of-way, provided that we are not a)drinking coffee or b)talking on cell phones.

2)The right to impose Punitive Action on any bicyclist found to be obstructing our rights as granted in 1, above, to include (but not to be limited to) opening car doors, side swipes, and stopping short.

3)Any cycling formation other than single file is punishable by death or banishment to Tyson's Corner.

Your counter-demands/counter-offers? Any other vehicular demands I may have missed, other drivers?

Nope, sorry, I think you misunderstand. I was magnanimously allowing as how I'd be comfortable with the concept of commuters trying to defend themselves.
Ya'll are second class motorists, basically. Come to the city, spend some money, take up some space, and then back you go. Unless you're a WMATA employee of some kind you don't actually have any right to the asphalt. You're welcome to occupy the space, provided you mind your manners, but you're in no position to negotiate.

I'm afraid the only terms I'll accept are unconditional surrender.

-WDC

The asphalt you hold so dear would not exist were it not for commuters; if all was left to mass transit, you could choose to try to ride your bike to work over 3 miles of singletrack or cobblestones. So let's not put the cart before the horse, so to speak.

And, considering that I live in the city proper, I take offense at your characterization. But, I'ma nic person at heart. So, out of the sprit of cooperation, but keeping in mind that yo turned down my original more generous offer, I'm willing to *permit* you to share the sidewalks with the more dignified pedestrians, provided you wear a small siren around your neck at all times that blares "Bicycle Coming! Bicycle Coming!" the entire time you're in motion.

And if you refuse this one, I'll take away the right to chain your bike to my parking meter.

I bike to work from time to time. Instead of a siren, what if I wore cowbells? What if I told you I move predictably, following all traffic laws, and I use hand signals? No, not those hand signals, the ones that indicate when I'm about to turn, and in which direction.

Proposed amendment to Section 1. Add clause c), to read "c) or not a self-important dickwad who can't wait another 10 seconds to get to his management trainee position at Starbucks."

snh- Were all of this to be the case, I'd say that you are truly a singular bicycle-borne commuter, because the rest of them seem to have no more regard for traffic laws and pedestrian than they have for personal hygeine. But you very well may be the exception in which case I'd like to encourage you to take vigilante-style justice into your own hands to stop the ones who ruin it for everyone else.

SJ- Article 1), Clause C), seconded and passed without dissention. Next order of business?

It is settled, then. I shall keep a can of Glade in the water bottle rack on my bike and use it to deal out a forceful spray of point-blank retribution against fellow cyclists who abuse the roads. It will function as a means for both discipline and deoderizing. I am not one to turn my back on vigilantism, and I am pleased that we could come to an agreement.

in turn, i'll take it upon myself to "re-educate" any mtorist who is under the impression that he is special enough to take a left hand turn from the right hand lane without signaling.

huzzah!