May 10, 2005
Day 2: Menace 2 Da Office
I've always been told that when you don't have a job (or school), it's best to get out of the house to do something, whether job-search-related or not. So far, that hasn't proven to be too wise.
I set off for the gym to get a free trial membership, something that will likely become a running gag around here as I bounce from gym to gym every 1, 3 or 5 days, depending on the coupon. Freebies are nice, but the only catch is that you have to sound interested for the sales pitch and be willing to discuss your goals, such as "find something to replace blogging as the most physically-demanding activity I do on any given day."
This gym set me up with a personal trainer after the sales pitch, a nice guy who talked to me about what I wanted to do and my previous workout/sports history (I got cut from middle school wrestling in tryouts). We worked for about half an hour, exercising muscle groups I forgot I had, when all of a sudden I started to see fuzzy rainbows and lose my balance mid-lunge. I stopped, had some water, then went back to work. Then it happened again, with the addition of temporarily losing hearing. Since the trainer didn't want me to faint, he told me to rest up, drink water and go home. Probably a good idea, since I don't usually get the vapours and today isn't a good day to start.
I went home on my own power and checked my email to find that the temp agency with which I signed up had a problem with my application and would not hire me. After verbally darting and weaving with the temp agency woman to get her to tell me why I'm not qualified to stuff envelopes for $11 per hour, she eventually stopped blaming my references and fessed up that I had failed the computer-administered personality test, doing miserably on nearly every category, including punctuality (I'm annoyingly on-time, even when drunk) and working with others, even though everyone in Bluestate will tell you that I'm a dream coworker.
So, what's next? A new temp agency with lower standards for sociopaths like myself? Selling blood plasma? We'll see. Right now, I have an appointment with Mr. Vodka and Mr. Potato Salad.
Posted by rj3 at May 10, 2005 5:03 PM
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Comments
I thought I was the only out of work, working out gym guy in the city. Who new... A tip about the gym freebies be careful at Washington Sports Clubs....
Posted by: Blandba at May 10, 2005 7:12 PM
you are indeed one of the most punctual people i know. and how does a test determine how punctual you are when it comes to actually showing up?
the people at gold's are the most agressive, i found.
Posted by: seeking irony at May 10, 2005 7:42 PM
For obvious reasons, I think its best to avoid mentioning which gym it is.
Posted by: rj at May 10, 2005 11:30 PM
Selling plasma isn't so bad. You can go twice a week. They put your blood in a centrifuge (which is fun for your blood) then pump your red cells right back in. Plus: cookies.
Posted by: Smith at May 11, 2005 9:35 AM
You're late to every bluestate meeting if you bother to come at all!
Slacker.
:)
Posted by: information leafblower at May 11, 2005 10:44 AM
The North Dupont WSC has one of the most low-pressure trial memberships in recorded history. Just make sure you take your coupon in before any of the "membership consultants" show up for work and you're home free. Hell, I had to call the consultant to find out about a membership!
Posted by: Matt at May 11, 2005 11:16 AM