October 31, 2003

Bizarre

This leaves me speechless. Asparagus? In a purse?

Posted by rj3 at 3:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The stuff sells itself anyway

We might not have weed ads on Metro anymore. If they need more money to keep the trains running, then fine. But the Moonie Times running the same grafs, word for word about STDs it runs every time they write about pot, is like, misleading, man!


" More than 10 percent of the District's 572,000 residents are addicted to illicit drugs or alcohol, according to a recent study by Mayor Anthony A. Williams' office. The District has the highest rate of new AIDS cases per capita in the nation and ranks near the top in infection rates of other sexually transmitted diseases such as gonorrhea and chlamydia, according to the city's health department."

The day someone tells me they got herpes from a slutty hookah is the day I take this cult's paper seriously.

Posted by rj3 at 7:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 30, 2003

Lawyers, guns and money, together at last

So there's a crazed gunman a long-haired gal pal running around the Cannon HOB. (the Post has more). One DCSOB source on the Senate side is positively bored, noting that Senators are still voting and the whole mess doesn't really effect her.


UPDATE: It was a toy gun. Jeez.

Posted by rj3 at 2:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Why do we love Craig's List?

Because it caters to the obscenely paranoid, the hopeless dreamers and the truly pathetic, sort of like most fundamentalist religions, if you think about it.

Posted by rj3 at 1:15 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 29, 2003

"I am honored to accept your waste"

The Washington Metro is a wonderful system - fast, clean and reliable, except for when it's windy, snowing or Sunday morning. However, it is missing some amenities of older subways. For example, New York has express lines, crosstown shuttles and most importantly, a place to take a whiz (anywhere but the third rail). Recently, WMATA took one step towards making the Metro easier on the bladder by installing a test self-cleaning toilet in the Huntington Station. We have a review...














Welcome to the machine.




The seat makes its grand entrance.



The automated TP dispenser.

For starters, there is only one of these things in the entire system, so if you want to go but don't want to get charged for leaving the system, you'll have to take the yellow line all the way to its southern terminus. That is, until they install these things elsewhere, which is possible.


Now, to the bathroom itself. It looks like it some sort of fancy coffee grinder, knife sharpener or other brushed steel kitchen implement grown to ten feet tall. It's very European, with pictographs for everything in addition to english and braille. The lines are clean and it could pass for the entrance to an underground night club called simply "RESTROOM", if it weren't actually a shitter.


The first thing to be wary of is the washing mechanism. If you enter after someone leaves, the seat will be retracted. If you press the button to bring it out, it comes out while still being washed, along with a big gush of water. Didn't they think to make the user wait until it's done cleaning and drying before coming out of the wall?


Once the seat comes down, the fun begins.


Ass firmly in place on the umpeccably clean seat, you can see how clean the whole little room is. There is not a spot, scuff or stain anywhere. Apparently, it washes down completely on a regular basis, and it shows. It's a sad statement on our ability as a society to care after shared spaces, but everything is designed to be as impervious to drunken louts, naer-do-wells and high school pranksters as possible. You can't TP the station, because the toilet paper dispenser is button-operated, which means you'd have to spend about an hour getting a roll out. By then, you'd be washed down and disenfected three times.


The worst thing about the Metro toilet is the sink. There's no basin - you put your hands in the sink area, and soap, water and dry air come out, one after the other. Wanna throw some water on your face? You're outta luck. Wanna drown someone? No can do, buddy.


The bottom line: Putting toilets in the Metro is a good idea. When I lived in Baltimore, I would take the train from Capitol Hill to Greenbelt. From there, it was another 45 minutes until I got home. If I had to go, I was out of luck. With a few technical improvements, it'll be "wicked pissah!"

Posted by rj3 at 10:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Stalker alert

C.S. reports George Clooney and Roger Slattery of "K Street" drinking at Chief Ike's in Adams Morgan. A bit of a change from the usual steakhouse-and-cocktails routine on the show, no?

Posted by rj3 at 6:01 PM | Comments (0)

October 27, 2003

Gawker Stalker, DC style

Yours truly just saw House speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) walk out of a Dupont Circle apartment building with a male "aide." Now, I'm not accusing Denny of Michael Huffington-esque escapades, if only because I don't think he'd be so stupid as to walk out of an apartment building with a member of the same sex who isn't an aide. Got it?

Anyway, if you see a DC celebrity around town, email me (the address is on the sidebar).

Posted by rj3 at 9:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 26, 2003

What the Soviet Safeway was out of today

Here is a list of things I wanted to buy at the Safeway on 17th Street but could not because they ran out:


  • Diet Pepsi
  • Jiffy Corn Bread Mix

Not a bad haul, compared to previous weeks. However, the fact that they can't keep soda on the shelves is pretty odd in a free-market democracy. I guess that's why they call it the Soviet Safeway.

Posted by rj3 at 5:08 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack